If you are a parent/caregiver, chances are you have witnessed a tantrum or two in your day. You may have been witnessing even MORE tantrums since we have had the "stay at home" order in place the last month.
Some children will act up because they have a hard time regulating their own emotions. Maybe they are having a tantrum because they don't want to do school work, because someone isn't sharing a toy with them, or because their sibling just won't leave them alone. There are plenty of situations that can cause a child to have an outburst, but what can we do to prevent these outbursts from occurring? The first step you need to take to help support a child who has frequent outbursts is to have your child start to pay attention to and label how they are feeling. Here is a fun video for your child to watch that explains what different emotions are that we may feel on a regular basis. People need to know what emotion(s) they are feeling in order to properly manage them. Sometimes just articulating the emotion can help ease negative feelings. Acknowledging a negative feeling can make it seem less powerful and helps you begin to think productively about what to do with that feeling (Child Mind Institute, 2020). Parents can help children acknowledge their own feelings by modeling it in their own everyday behavior. For example, if you are upset because you went to the store and you forgot something, you could say, "I'm frustrated! I forgot (item) at the store!". Then, after you acknowledged how you feel, you can model coping and problem-solving skills. You might say, "I'm going to take some deep breaths to calm down- that normally helps me". Then, once you are calm, you can say, "now, how can I solve this problem?" and brainstorm some ideas with your child. Children will pick up on skills that you are modeling for them, but they may still need extra support as they begin to learn how to manage their emotions. If you see that your child is starting to become upset, you can ask them how they are feeling and see if they can label their emotion(s). Acknowledging and validating how your child is feeling (i.e., "yes, that does sound frustrating" or "you do look disappointed) rather than trying to talk them out of their negative feelings gives them the confidence they need to manage their emotions in a healthy way. Feelings Thermometer Kids don’t go from calm to sobbing on the floor in an instant — even if it seems like that. Emotions build over time, like a wave. Kids can learn to manage those emotions that seem overwhelming by noticing and labeling them earlier, before that wave gets too big (Child Mind Institute, 2020). Many kids benefit from ranking how strong their emotions are on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being calm and 10 being furious. You can model doing this, too. When you are feeling frustrated because you forgot something at the store, you might announce that you’re at a 4. It might feel silly to do this at first, but it teaches kids to pause and notice how they are feeling. For kids who appreciate visual aids, something like a "feelings thermometer” might help. **The information provided in the post was taken from the article: "How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?", Child Mind Institute, 2020**
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